My story

I was born as a healthy child in March 1960. Everything was in order for me to have a good life. I was early on walking, talking and exploring the world. And I was active in every way I have been told. My father was still worried because I didn't want to sit on his lap and not have closeness. My mother fell ill after I was born and was told, among other things, that she should use her energy on my brother, because I was so strong

I developed obesity early on and food was very important to me. At that time, there weren't many overweight children, so I quickly became an object of bullying.

I enjoyed myself at school anyway. I had an absolutely fabulous teacher, but I thought recess was terrible.

For as long as I can remember I have been interested in the divine. I started Sunday school when I was 4 and it wasn't because my parents wanted me to, but I had an attraction towards religion. I had my first supernatural experience when I was 10 years old. I was in Lillehammer with the band I was in on a summer trip. In the evening, I would go to bed a little earlier than others. I went to the room, and suddenly my grandfather came to me in a vision. I wasn't alarmed or thought it was anything strange either. He told me he was going home, and that I should take over after him. Then I realized that he died and went to the other side. What I thought was strange was that he came to me, because I couldn't sing like him. I had a cousin who could.

When I got home to my parents a couple of days later I told them you don't need to tell me because I know Grandpa died on Friday at 2230. My father never forgot this. It was the only episode he didn't have a natural explanation for and even when he became demented he thought about this. For me, this experience was only positive. Now I knew there was an afterlife, and that meant that no matter how hard things got, I never became suicidal.

Adolescence was difficult. Although I had friends and lived a seemingly normal life, I struggled with inferiority complexes and felt no connection with anyone. I started getting a little high and found no meaning in life. When I turned 20, I found out that now I was going to get rid of my problems forever. I thought all my problems came from being overweight. I almost stopped eating and lost 32 kilos in 4 months. Now I dared to go to discos and blow my hair out BUT: the problems were certainly not gone and my whole world came crashing down. I quickly ended up in a psychiatric ward. They said I had something called "borderline" and that I couldn't get fully healthy any further. It completely broke me and after this I started getting drunk much more than before. What was the point anyway

In the end I ended up at Eika in Oslo, snuff rag in hand. I would get so lost in my head that my thoughts would stop. At that time I got food and a chat at the Salvation Army's lighthouse corps in Urtegata. I wondered if there was hope for me.

One day in May 1985, I cried out to God in my distress, while I was down by the river sniffing. Save me save me if you exist. A girl who was a little straighter than myself took me to her dorm where I got to shower and go to bed for the night. That night I met the light. A light of love, like coming home and I received a calling, but also a message that I had to go through a lot before I could work in my calling.

I continued to live in Oslo for a while longer, but you will be able to read more about this under the rehabilitation button